Living with ADD

This has been quite a journey to get to where we are today. We've had quite a stressful Spring.
Our main stress has come from the many ups and downs of Peep3's life over the last few months.

First off, let me say that I have just read my first book on Understanding ADHD. Why?...oh...Why have I waited so long? I guess I've been so focused on how Dyslexia has affected all three of my older Peeps, that ADD has been pushed aside. But no longer. It is great to read a book and have those "ahhaa" moments that you are not alone. That the battles we sometimes fight have to be reached in a different way because...guess what?...Kids with ADD are wired differently! Big news flash...I know.

Second, although the book I mentioned above tells us that society (doctors, teachers, etc.) have realized that the behaviors of said children are no longer blamed on bad parenting skills, I would have to disagree. Last month I sat in an IEP meeting and when discussing Peep3's lack of attention, both the remedial teacher and her main teacher sat back, arms crossed, and looked at me for a solution. They mentioned their concern about what is going on in our home to make this child so emotional. I uncrossed my arms, sitting forward with my arms on the table and stared back at them. I said that I'd like to know what WE are going to do about it and that I want to know what is going on at school all day that causes my child to have complete and total meltdowns when she comes home to me. Not to mention the tummy aches and not wanting to get out of bed  moments. (That happened for about 2 months) Then they wanted to know if she was still on her original medication. I told them yes and that we are not willing to put her on an additional medication for ADD. Which by the way is a blood pressure medication.

I will not go any further to discuss how our Spring has gone with this teacher. If you caught the post about Peep3's teacher intruding on our decisions to homeschool, before I deleted it, you know some of what we're going through. I know there has been some "she said. she said" going on between Peep3 and the teacher. So I'm calling a truce for now.

Third, the ADD child has quite a concoction of social issues. I believe that Peep3's issues have mainly come from her dyslexia. When a child has learning issues their peers  pick up on it. An easy target. When that child is taken out of the classroom for over 1/2 of her learning day for remedial classes and then is expected to reenter w/o disruption, this causes alot of stress and lowers self esteem. Kids feed off of this. So in her defense she does what she does best and that's being chatty and social or gets emotional, embarrassed and gets teary. Which is the last thing you want to have happen in a classroom. Then the sweet girl who gets picked on, now fights back and takes her frustrations (with words) out on younger children at school or in the neighborhood. She's done that so that she feels some control over her situation, which by the way, is not her nature. We've dealt with the loss of a best friend and then the making up of that best friend (which left both Moms in tears).Oh, the pettiness of 5th grade girls!!! But ADD plays into relationships in the form of impulsivity. She does pretty well but that doesn't help in these matters. Emotional tween+dyslexia+impulsiveness=Migraines for Parents!

So how does ADD affect our home? It does not help with sibling rivalry, at all. We've all had to work on our communication skills. Mainly how to communicate with the child with ADD. For me it's how to realize I need a break from the constant need/noise and to find a place for her to go (mainly upstairs), or a project for her to do so I can breathe and focus. I need to be better at realizing my needs before I escalate the situation. We all need to pick our battles. And there are some that I let slide and some I won't. There has to be an evaluation of each situation, mood, and need. While in a battle, now matter what happens between point A and point B, keep the focus on the original offense and stay firm. There are times that she would be grounded for a month just getting her to go up the stairs to her room for a timeout. I need to stay focused during that time and not escalate the problem. But that doesn't mean I tolerate disrespect. It's very hard when I have three little ones in the home and they are there to watch the outbursts. I try desperately to move the conversation upstairs so we can talk away from the chickies.

All of this put together with her learning needs and social needs has made us search for the right path for her for next year. God has led us to homeschool her, you can read about that here. And we have to have a successful learning environment for her that addresses her learning, social and emotional needs. We want a healthy, happy future for her. We found out that it looks like Peep3 will be able to get into the same program as her brother at their middle school. It has been a great program for Peep2. She will be able to get a block of Language Arts/World History and Math with the same remedial teachers. And that will all take place in the first three periods. If that is how the schedule comes out, we feel giving her this academic opportunity is what we should do. Then she will come home and  we will do Science and her electives together in the afternoon. We are very excited as we believe this will give her the best of both schools. God is good and my fleece is out that if this is what He wants for next year, that the school schedule and classes will still look like this come fall.

Enough about me. If you have an ADD/ADHD child, what is your biggest challenge? And how do you cope? I'd love to here from YOU!

Bringing Her Home

Well, we thought God was preparing our hearts and home for homeschooling Peep3 next school year. It looks like it will be much sooner! My heart is ready. My mind is ready. I feel overwhelmed with the list of to-dos that need to get done in order to make this happen though.

Here's a break down of where we are today.

Reading: We tested her the end of last school year and she was at 4.6 reading level (fourth grade). She just started 5th grade and is now reading at a 5th grade level! WOW! Thank you, Lord! This is amazing for her. So this means she will graduate from her IEP in reading soon!

Math: She still needs help. So the IEP remains. And we will take her to these classes 4 days a week while homeschooling until she meets her goals there.

We will start out with Handwriting Without Tears and Writing Strands. We will be reading some great classics starting with Anne of Green Gables and including reading responses, a report, and spelling words with this. I'm excited to start a Unit study on Anne of Green Gables for other subjects! Independent reading of her choice. And Bible reading, discussion, and writing verses weekly. I want to introduce to Peep3 women of the Bible and how we can learn from them!

Although we're still searching for a complete math curriculum, we've signed her up with IXLfor lots of math practice. IXL is a great program for kids to practice all areas of math from K-8. It will give the parents reports of how well they did in each area and how long they practiced. You're able to see what areas need more instruction. This is a great resource for all school aged kids. And it's on the computer! Not a workbook. "L's" teacher is using this for her class homework. And she recommends it because there is detailed help for the questions they get wrong. Also, we will be purchasing Times Tales from Trigger Memory. This was highly recommended for to make math more fun and for those with dyslexia!

I will be implementing a workbox system . I read Sue Patrick's Workbox System and it was helpful, but I will be creating our own system from these ideas. Here's a link to Rockin' Granola's workbox post for more ideas. I think I will keep the same boxes out in order for a weeks time. And will change it up a bit here and there. This will help lessen my planning time. I'll have a couple of boxes set aside to add in during the week to keep it fresh. I also need to get a couple of timers to help her know how much time to spend on an activity. She can spend an hour on one assignment as it is. This could be really freeing to her. Also this should cut down on distractions as I will place all the needed items for that subject in that box. Nothing else but a timer will be left out of a box, including pencils, paper and erasers. This is a huge stumbling block for Peep3 right now at school.

We are considering hiring someone to come in one day a week as a Mother's Helper to give Peep3 and I more instuctional time during the week. I am hoping that my Mother-in-law can come one day a week as well. We are talking about this. I was all gun-ho to find someone and then this morning I realized that I want to try Nana coming in first and really see what our needs will be and time frame before hiring someone. So I will put that on hold for a bit, but will still ask around. Here's a great post from Steady Mom that talks about how when something looks perfect, "except when it isn't!" Thanks Jamie, I needed to read that today!

Friday School will start up in February and give Peep3  a chance to choose some classes and get to see old friends and make new ones at our church. I will quit MOPS at that time so that we can stay home 4 days a week and keep Fridays as our big day out. I'm hoping to replace MOPS with an evening bible study so that I can be fed and have some fellowship once a week. We'll see if Daddy Rooster is on board with that! The big peeps already go to church at that time, so it's perfect timing.

This list is long, but most of it is done! I'm very excited and writing it down really helps. That way I can look back and see what our goals were and what's working or not! This list is just about Academics which is only half of the reasons why we want to bring her home! I'll post more about that next!

Look for these upcoming posts: The "D" Word - Dyslexia - How learning disabilites have impacted our children and our family! and The Most Important Reasons to Bring Her Home!